The Stupid Law

I would like to pass on this law to any demagogue that might be reading (any literate demagogue, that is).

THE STUPID LAW
Deoch 10, 1st Moon.

The legal code of this village no longer sanctions stupidity. For the purposes of the Stupid Law, stupidity is defined as the lack of basic intelligence and cognitive reasoning required to carry on intelligible conversation and effectively perform day-to-day tasks with dignity and understanding.

Encapsulated under the term “stupidity” are also the actions of dumbosity, unsmartness, intelligence lackification, imbecility, moronicity, idiocy, retardation, brainlessness, and a condition called Hopeless Simpletonism. Each of these encapsulates both acute and minor degrees.

Despite what you might think, the Stupid Law is not subjective. The Stupid Law is so grand in that it applies to those who are so stupid that anyone with any intelligence would see their stupidity, and those that do not see their stupidity are stupid and should be arrested.

The following are telltale signs of a person out to break this law:

Drooling.
Inability to articulate polysyllabic words and complex sentence constructions.
Drool dripping off a large sword.
Gratuitous screaming.
Heresy.
Preachiness coupled with hypocrisy.
Long-term nudity.
Questionable naming.
Shiny armor and expensive equipment coupled with mysterious lack of past and/or accomplishments.
Laziness in public office.
Presumption.
Immaturity.
Impoliteness.
Destructiveness.

Anyone exhibiting these signs should be kept under close surveillance for a period of ten to twenty-five seconds to determine if it is a lapse of uncommon stupidity or a general behavioral pattern. Then, to the guard’s best judgement, a first offense should be given a polite warning, such as:

“Pardon me, sir/madam, but you are being incredibly dumb and are in violation of the Stupid Statute of Deoch 10, Law #[whatever]”

If they respond with “huh???”, arrest them.

If they are polite, but issue signs of stupidity later, arrest them. If they ask “What Stupid Law?” or say “That Stupid Law’s stupid”, or “ur stupid”, or “[CENSORED]”, all verly likely responses, an arrest is in order.

This is the only law this village really needs.

END STUPID LAW.

Watch me become a demagogue and enact this myself someday.

»Arne Gustaf Swanberg
Ughdarras an Lagha
(“The Long Arm Of The Law”)

Politician’s Prayer