The Hao of Wu ;-)...sorry, I couldn't resist

A revised guide to politics

Some time ago, maybe a Deoch or two, I posted a guide on getting started into the political world. But I feel that guide was incomplete. Plus, it was removed as being offensive 10 minutes after I walked away.

An aisling enters this world as a citizen of the fair city of Mileth. It's no secret that aislings love to repay this debt to Mileth by entering it's service as a guard or a demagogue. But to do this, they must first earn the respect of Mileth.

How is this done? Why, very simple. You stand outside and say "VOT DETHSLAYERX 4 MILATH GARUD!!but 1st i have 2 b a rc so vote 4 that k tnx". But doing this is so time consuming, and would require distraction from other important things, such as raping passersby. So be sure to harass all your friends into voting for you. Should they do anything silly, like refuse, accuse them of being a poor friend and not giving you the support you need to pursue a career in politics.

Be sure to take advantage of any insight difference there happens to be. If they are lower than you, call them a "stupid new-b who doesnot kno what is good 4 milath." If they are a higher insight than yourself, accuse them of being a cold, heartless high insight who thinks he's better than everyone else just because he's killed a few more monsters than you. All political support can be weaseled gained from your friends *scratches out the last three words* in this fashion.

Next, you must advance to the position of guard, or demagogue, depending on your interest. Given that guards have "kewl armar" that'd look really chic when you're hunting, I suggest you follow that path. Plus, you get to banish people you don't like.

There is the unfortunate prospect that you do not have friends who can get you into office. Therefore, you must at least understand the basics of campaigning.

One should always approach a campaign offering something new, a fresh perspective on the political world. People will adore the idea of someone wanting change in Mileth, because the gods know we need even more opinions on how things should go. After all, the reason we have next to no organization must stem from a unified opinion that the entire community should be split into a billion separate quarreling fragments.

You will no doubt be the one deciding force who overcomes all adversity and hardship to unite Mileth. Be sure to stress the fact that you are the One who can bring change to Mileth, who can unite every guard and demagogue, stamp out corruption, and make our streets safe again.

After your brilliant speech stressing how different you are, how strong you are, remember that you have no obligation to hold your promises to those who got you in office. Their services won't be required for a double-moon or so. You can start to make good on your promises then, right?

Always remember the politician's mantra:
"I am right. You are wrong. There is no way I could be wrong. I'm me. You're gay."

--Wuhao Iosef Mythrin

Written Material © 2000/2002 Wuhao
This document maintained by Estara.
Page Copyright © 2000-2004 E. Swanberg (optimized for MIE 5.x)
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