We need pirates

Studies have shown that our culture is depressingly lacking of pirates. When queried, 9/10 temuairian boys under the age of 12 did not understand what was meant by the phrase, "ARR, MATEY, PUT UP YOUR HANDS AND SURRENDER YOUR BOOTY, AND PREPARE TO BE BOARDED!"

All but twelve of the boys, however, began snickering or laughing at the phrase, some describing the phrase as "homosexual."

Indeed, it has been discovered that no aislings are terrified by the thought of crossing the seas due to the risk of piracy. In point of fact, there is no risk of piracy -- Over the past 20 deoches, approximately 0 ships have been pillaged and/or sunk by ruthless pirates.

Temuair is spiralling toward a tragic state of having no pirates at all. A culture without pirates is a culture without absurdly dressed men shouting "ARRR" a lot and sustaining themselves solely on rum and whatever they stole today.

At first glance, this does not appear to be a big loss. However, interviews showed that the commonfolk miss pirates.

Wuhao: Would you enjoy being raided by pirates on your way to Abel and being stripped of all your belongings, and possibly your life?
Woman: Certainly!
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Wuhao: Would you enjoy being robbed blind by pirates and forced to walk the plank to die a death by drowning in icy cold waters?
Man: Hmmm...I think I would...
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Wuhao: Hey, would you mind if pirates intercepted you while you were sailing to or from Rucesion and robbed your ship and killed most of those on board, possibly including yourself?
Woman: I would love it :)
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Wuhao: Sheihuang, would you mind if pirates raided you while you sailed home, robbed you of everything you own, tortured you for their own amusement for hours, and then left you to die in the seas?

Man: [Well, that's hard to say since I don't k]no[w what it's like],[so I suppose] I [would have to try it first to see if I liked it, now] wouldn't [I?]

The voice is clear. People want to be raided by pirates.

Wuhao Iosef Mythrin

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