The Burgess

Burgess Karl Ulyanov strode confidently into the town hall. In his left hand, he carried a set of papers. In his right hand, he carried a gavel. There really wasn't much need for the gavel, but he just liked having one. It made him feel all official inside.

Arriving ten minutes late for the meeting, he was right on time. Being late wasn't just a fashion for Ulyanov; It was tradition. The demagogues quarrelled and bickered over something or other. It probably wasn't important. It didn't involve him.

He banged his gavel on the table. People hushed themselves, and looked at him.

"Ladies and gentleman," began Ulyanov, trying his best to sound wisened and grandfatherly in his 26 years, "I have for you today a law to be voted upon."

"Well, we were just discussing the detai-" began Heinrich Gerbel. Heinrich Gerbel was always at work on some new law to help with theft and the rights of hunters. He addressed many complex issues, and dealt with them fairly.

This did not mean that Karl Ulyanov particularly cared.

"I call it the Protection of Moral Integrity Act," he said, now envisioning himself as a general, "And I would like to put it to a vote."

The people knew well enough that Ulyanov was probably not going to shut up until they humored him. They read his law. Some of them genuinely appreciated its goals, and voted 'aye.' Others felt that it didn't do any good, but it didn't do any evil, either. They, too, voted 'aye.'

Others felt the same as the previous group, and felt that a law should at least do some good, or it doesn't have much business being there. They voted 'nay.'

The remainder felt that the law was ill-conceived and foolish. They, too, voted 'nay.'

All told, just under 2/3rds of the demagogues present voted 'nay.'

"Very well then!" declared Ulyanov proudly. "It is law! Per right of burgess, I am enacting it immediately!"

"Ulyanov, what the hell is the point of asking us to vote if you're just going to do it anyway?"

"I just thought I'd give you the chance to do the right thing. Really, my personal experience instantly qualifies me to write laws without need for vote. I've served four terms as a demagogue. Count 'em! Four. That's SIXTEEN MOONS in office! One and a third deoches!

"Can you not see my superiority? In this time, I have gathered the sort of experience and expertise necessary to come before you today, look you in the eye after you vote down my law, and say, 'You are all flat wrong.' I, Karl Ulyanov, possess a level of experience that you simply cannot compare to.

"Really, it's not so surprising. I've known since birth that I was a genius. I have mental powers far in excess of the normal man! No, no need for adulation, really, I was given this. It's the least I can do to use my gift for the betterment of Mileth! So, spare me your thanks and your praise. I will continue to do as I have always done: To help, as only I can."

"If there are no further issues, this meeting is over!"

Wuhao Iosef Mythrin

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