Point - Counterpoint

"Young guards must eat healthy"

by Wuhao Iosef Mythrin
Former guard captain

Eating this sandwich reminds me of the olden days! In fact, there's an important lesson there, so listen up you little whippersnappers, and you listen good! 'cause I come from Deoch 11, the good ol' days, when we aislin's WORKED for a livin'! Not that you youngin's would know what work really is! Harumph!

Back when I still had teeth, I ate a sandwich every day when I was on duty! Oh, it was a humble sandwich. It didn't have none of these fancy "sessame seeds" that you youngin's love so much. It just had bread, some tamaters, a bit of meat, and some bread! And dagnabbit, WE LIKED IT!

Every day, I would patrol, uphill both ways in the snow! I can't count how many officers we lost to the cold, but gosh darn it, we had a job to do, and WE DID IT! And those sandwiches fueled us all the way!

So, why don't you little ingrates take a lesson from someone who's been there and further before, and eat yourself a sandwich every day! Not like you'll ever be as good as I am, but it'll do you good! Not like you've earned it!

Wuhao Iosef Mythrin

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"Old people shouldn't be allowed to eat anymore"

by Anonymous
Guard Captain

I think Wuhao makes a lot of excellent points above. Really, I can't state them any more eloquently than he has. The problem is that he drives home a completely different point than the one the he to make in the first place.

Yes, my friends, he has exemplified how old people never really serve any purpose. Oh, sure, Wuhao can write. He could have written about the Instruction Mandate; He could have written about the glaring contradictions in our laws. Or perhaps of cases that may have been handled better!

No, instead of anything that might have actual bearing on something, Wuhao has chosen to slam young people -and- gripe about something useless, like how they need to eat sandwiches. And it's pretty obvious the latter was just a stupid excuse for the former.

So, I say to you this day my friends, let us stop feeding our elderly. Really, what do the old do for us besides whine, gripe, moan, complain, yammer about "the good ol' days," smell like yogurt, and take our valuable food? Nothing! Let us end their lives! They will at last be content, and so shall we!

Anonymous

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