Point - Counterpoint
"Young guards
must eat healthy"
by Wuhao Iosef Mythrin
Former guard captain
Eating this sandwich reminds me of
the olden days! In fact, there's an important lesson there, so listen
up you little whippersnappers, and you listen good! 'cause I come from
Deoch 11, the good ol' days, when we aislin's WORKED for a livin'! Not
that you youngin's would know what work really is! Harumph!
Back when I still had teeth, I ate a
sandwich every day when I was on duty! Oh, it was a humble sandwich.
It didn't have none of these fancy "sessame seeds" that you
youngin's love so much. It just had bread, some tamaters, a bit of meat,
and some bread! And dagnabbit, WE LIKED IT!
Every day, I would patrol, uphill both
ways in the snow! I can't count how many officers we lost to the cold,
but gosh darn it, we had a job to do, and WE DID IT! And those sandwiches
fueled us all the way!
So, why don't you little ingrates take
a lesson from someone who's been there and further before, and eat yourself
a sandwich every day! Not like you'll ever be as good as I am, but it'll
do you good! Not like you've earned it!
Wuhao Iosef Mythrin
-----
"Old people shouldn't be allowed to eat anymore"
by Anonymous
Guard Captain
I think Wuhao makes a lot of excellent
points above. Really, I can't state them any more eloquently than he
has. The problem is that he drives home a completely different point
than the one the he to make in the first place.
Yes, my friends, he has exemplified
how old people never really serve any purpose. Oh, sure, Wuhao can write.
He could have written about the Instruction Mandate; He could have written
about the glaring contradictions in our laws. Or perhaps of cases that
may have been handled better!
No, instead of anything that might
have actual bearing on something, Wuhao has chosen to slam young people
-and- gripe about something useless, like how they need to eat sandwiches.
And it's pretty obvious the latter was just a stupid excuse for the
former.
So, I say to you this day my friends,
let us stop feeding our elderly. Really, what do the old do for us besides
whine, gripe, moan, complain, yammer about "the good ol' days,"
smell like yogurt, and take our valuable food? Nothing! Let us end their
lives! They will at last be content, and so shall we!
Anonymous