needs a villain"
I borrowed a bit from Swanberg's
style for this one. Hope he doesn't mind..
"Temuair needs a villain,"
Washed up, drunken political commentator
Temuair needs a villain.
I tell you Temuair needs a villain because it does. If Temuair did not
need a villain, I would not be telling you it did, or else I would be
lying. You wouldn't want to call me a liar, would you? That would be
baseless slander, for which I would pursue you in the appropriate courts.
Now that we've established that Temuair does, in
fact, need a villain, I will proceed to tell you that which you already
know: Temuair, much to my dismay, is dreadfully lacking in the villain
department. There are certain things it lacks; Among them, a villain.
"Now, now," I hear you ask, "why
do we need a villain?" The answer to this is simple. There are
different types of needs. The needs of an organization warrant the members
to be concerned; The needs of a nation warrant the people to be concerned;
The needs of a world warrant everyone to be concerned.
This falls under said 'world' category. Specifically,
this need is for a villain. Temuair, our world, needs a villain. Therefore,
you and I need a villain.
Now, as anyone with the intelligence of a glass
of water can see, we need a villain. [a vomit stain obscures a large
section of text] still hear most aislings ask me why we need a villain.
I will attempt to translate our need for a villain into your idiotic
language of grunts and monosyllabic words.
us need bad dude. world need bad dude so us need
bad dude. ugg. are you a bad enough dude to be us bad dude?
Now that we should have covered the ignorant twits
visiting us from South Abel, I think I've made my concrete argument
clear to everyone, regardless of their level of mental retardation.
In conclusion, we need a villain.