|| News In Brief
Beggar goes insane:
EAST WOODLANDS — East woodlands beggar has gone
berserk. After being denied another item, he freaked out, grabbed
the adventure board and started bashing random people walking by.
Due to his enormous stamina, people had to flee for their lives
as many lay unconscious on the path. It took 6 Loures guards to
subdue the beggar. He was then brought to the dungeon and was released
6 minutes later due to a miswrite in his arrest document. When being
interviewed later he said: 'Th'se Filt' ai't worth givin' my mor
Dungeon too gray
LOURES — The wizard in the dungeon has demanded
flowers to lighten up his prison. The chancellor denied it saying
that he wanted to be the flowergirl. After a wide open look from
the king and a stunned face from the Loures knight, the chancellor
got kicked back into his little hide-out. He cried like a little
girl... which isn't very unusual, for people who have seen him.
Mad man invents new sport:
TEMUAIR — Gerald the barbarian, has invented a new
sport. It concerns pigs, cows and other cattle, which are thrown
with a catapult over long distances. This new sport called 'cattlebombing'
has caused concern among farmers. Fearing that their cattle are
being killed and their houses bombarded, they asked Loures for help.
The king responded with his usual amazed look and then scratched
his sore butt.
Bad little boys better locked up in wells
then little girls:
TEMUAIR— After rigorous test it was seen that bad
little boys are best locked up in wells. They tried the same with
naughty little girls, but their dresses seemed to make 'm drown
too much. Parents agreed that this was the best way to punish them,
cause the usual cat'o nine tails was too harsh. Protest was raised
and quickly silenced when the first boy went down the well..
Drunk Warriors steal chicken:
RUCESION— Yesterday several drunk warriors stole
chickens from the chicken farmer down the road. After obviously
too much ale, they decided to use the chickens for clubs and tried
to knock each other senseless. Quickly the guards ran in and....
joined in, cause they were even more drunk....
Leper colony planned in
TAGOR - A leper colony is planned to be build near Tagor in Deoch
24. If all goes well the leper will be wearing lich robes and asking
for chump change. When the mundanes were asked about it they said:
'At least they won't beat us silly like those darn Aislings do >.<'.
Gerald came by later to try the new art of "Tagor mundane toss"...
which caused several newly opened houses to be closed again...
TEMUAIR - Hundreds of peasant came to Mileth and Rucesion square
to promote begging. Appalled by the idea of banishment, they demanded
that they could whine, beg and harass as much as they wanted and
claimed that if Aislings disliked that they could kiss the shiny
white ... Guards where called and with wise, strong words (and several
clubs) they all got 'persuaded to go home'.
Maniac wants Arena painted
PIET - As news travels, a man wants the arena painted pink. Jason
Pinkey: "I really like pink o'jolly. I mean life is sooo
much better when all is pink and cherry." The arena master
called Jason a maniac and said if he saw him next time he would
run him through. He also stated that running through was done with
a sword and not with the thing Jason had in mind. Jason was disappointed...
and stated he liked big, buff guys.
|| Top Story
people called cheap
The latest survey revealed that Rucesion
people are cheaper then average citizens.
They donate less, buy less items
in quantity and stash their gold.
Although latest reports do say Rucesionese
spend much money, it is mainly for
personal gain. Opposing forces say
that this survey is merely held by
Loures to annoy Rucesion people,
as they always do..
Cavalry drowns in Mehadi
Odds and Ends
Meat or vegetables?
Aisling bites draco
Cavalry drowns in Mehadi.
MEHADI — Loures heavy cavalry drowned in Mehadi
Swamp after chasing down a group of Mehadi dwellers. Stories had
been heard of the cavalry racing into the swamp for vengeance. They
screamed that they Mukuls were to blame for Chadul and they were
going to pay. All died, cause in 150 pounds armor, you tend to see
the bottom quickly... although, does a swamp have a bottom?
TEMUAIR— Bards from all the land where called to
sing of the Loures king greatness. All went well until Jacolyn the
young bard sang a song about the large behind of the king. She sang
detailed songs about his butt being
one with the throne and about his brain been sunk there too. After
that the king called the guard, although these were too busy grinning
and chuckling silly. The king demanded Jacolyn to be tossed in prison
but before the guards could respond, the bard jumped out of the
window into the moat.
Meat or vegetables?:
What is better: meat or veggies? A harsh debate
was called as one group talked about what was better. It even round
up into a fight after one of the speakers hit a pro-veggie person
in the face with a drumstick. The guards were called but... didn't
show up... (lunch time and they were all at the bakery)
Large quantities have gone missing at the same time.
The tavern lady is rewarding everyone with evidence concerning the
matter. The news has been send to Demagogue Omner he said "*hiccups*
Uhhh I have no idea *burp*". Rumors of the demagoguery drinking
it all away are denied. Demagoguery spokesperson says "She must
have drunk it all herself, everyone knows she been drunk and sleazy
ever since her husband vanished". Loures promises an investigation....
Aisling bites draco:
An unknown Aisling has been spotted biting a draco.
The draco amazingly ran for his life, as the Aisling chased after
it. Maniac beast protection group screams outrage. Saying that beasts
who slaughter all also have feelings and that we should all love one
Sharky the graverobber, for all your
Got a family member who got buried with the money
you wanted? A friend still owing you money? Or just in need of quick
cash? Call me; Dubhaimidh castle.
Innkeeper seeks waitresses
pays well, must be able to withstand pinches and touchy
Got shovels, pickaxes, etc. for sale? We pay top coin,
replies to Axelon miner guild.
Pink warrior seeks buff man for a little swordplay,
Still selling chicken, slightly used... I'm getting
married I don't need it anymore... please buy it from me? It is cheap...
Rudolf Steiner. (PS: also a goat for sale)