Mundane Gazette  
Issues Online
 
Issue 8 Issue 9      
   
Issue 3 | (( August 24th 2001)) | As reported by Shilentha  
  News In Brief
Beggar formally apologizes:
EAST WOODLANDS — The beggar spotted with insane behavior, apologizes to the Aislings he hurt, when he went berserk and started beating them with the adventure board. He claims that life merely was so hard: his wife left him with the kids, he got kicked out of his house, mugged by Nigel six times and abused by several Aislings with spells. His apology was denied and now you might notice he has 2 black eyes, 3 broken ribs, shattered jaw and all 3 his legs bruised and beaten.... uhm 3 legs??? *ouch* .

Boy from heaven a fraud:
TEMUAIR — A local boy who fell from the sky and thought to be a god's child, turned out to be a fraud. It seems that Gerald the local Barbarian had saved the boy from the well and then used the catapult for a new experiment: 'Ye ol'Toss the li'l boy game'. When asked why the little boy kept up the charade he claimed: 'My life sucks, and after I got locked up in the well and sling through sky I at least wanted some candy, yummy cider and RULE THE WORLD!.' Eyes were raised from where little boys learned these insane things.

King buys new pillow:
LOURES — The king bought a new pillow, from the Undine shoppe. Undine citizens were enraged, by this knowing the king uses pillows to sit on. This idea made them feel the king sits on the Undine people. Undine people still feels that Loures raided their city, stole their women and raped their cattle.... or something in the order... When the king was asked what he felt about the Undine people wished, he responded: "Undine?? what Undine??? A you mean that tiny little place, where we always barbecue *chuckles*."

Kedian's Temuair Clock

 

  Top Story
Social Studies


No bread at the bakery  
Riot for food
MILETH — Today there was a riot near the local bakery. Mundanes demanding bread were disappointed after hearing that an unknown Aisling bought empty the entire store. When the baker announced little vacation, the flames blazed high. Mundanes dragged the baker to the square, where he was pummeled into oblivion. Aisling bystander gazed at the scene, then a few warriors moved in to save the baker After a few minutes, the streets were covered with dozens of mundanes, brushed, beaten and broken. When mundanes begged for healing, the priest merely said, and I quote: Mileth is a area where no spells may be cast, perhaps you should got to the bakery. and buy some food to heal yourself. This resulted in a lot of weeping...

Top News
Aislings thought to have new disease

Suomi plans to dig tunnel

Political Chapter
Strange Aislings

Mileth guards green behind the ears?

The gossip board open 24 hours/ 7 days a week


Justice Chapter:

Aislings thought to have new disease:
TEMUAIR — A new disease is said to have affected Aislings The disease causes people to behave irrational, insane and even heretic. Local authority have been on alert, to immediately ban Aislings having symptoms of the disease. Mundanes have pressured the need of a public fire stake or bubbling oil, after several mundane ladies were harassed with improper and heretic words concerning acts of sexual behavior Tensions raised highly, when mundanes expressed their anger.

Suomi plans to dig tunnel:
SUOMI — Drego: "To the other side of the world we go! Right through the heart of it all, cause everyone knows the world is flat. We'll be the first to have a tunnel to the other side of the world. With any luck we will probably wind up near south Rucesion or so next spring." Scholars saying it is folly, have been silenced by local clergy. Silenced meaning the stake for those heretics.

Strange Aislings
TEMUAIR - Strange Aislings have been running around the world with heretic names. Aislings and mundanes scream for blood and punishment. Guards have been noted that they should force the Aisling to change their name or suffer banishment.

Mileth guards green behind the ears?
MILETH - guard: "Nonsense I know the law is the inside of my pocket. I mean just look at me enforce the law with perfection..." When being noted that his suit had no pockets, he was extremely silent.

The gossip board open 24 hours/ 7 days a week
Located in the Mileth civics, it is the board outside. Read the hilarious post of people bashing each other verbally and trying to make each other look bad. Smile, giggle, chuckle or laughed loudly as you see another person feeling the need to defend themselves against another ones silly posts. It will never end as one uses sarcasm and the other a sharp tongue. The topic now is set on Guilds, who is a good official and are Aisling able to use a board properly. .

Justice chapter:
2 murderers are at large still. Justice been acting slowly on it and guards+ captains are impatient. Their names can be reviewed on the board in the courthouse.
© Copyright 2001-2003 Mundane Gazette., All rights reserved.  
Newspaper Layout Inspiration © The Onion 2001