|| News In Brief
marveled at the use of creag:
ABEL — A dentist
in downtown Abel has been experimenting
the use of creag in dental hygiene.
Instead of pulling teeth with the
regular pliers, he been using a creag
spell to root out rotten teeth. We
had a word with the miracle dentist.
Dentist: 'It works marvelous. I just
shook the rotten tooth right out
of the patient mouth. I know he felt
uneasy at start but look at him sitting
there now. Peacefully and content
knowing that the rotten tooth is
Me: 'Uhm... he isn't breathing and
I think his neck is broken...'
Dentist: 'Nah, he is just resting,
just resting. So can I help you?
Are all of your teeth in order, little
TEMUAIR — A ballgame
led to chaos and mayhem as the supporters
started clashing into each other.
Many bruisedd and bleeding where
led off the fightscene when the Piet
Dwellers won with 65-43 from the
Undine Slaughters. Several aislings
running in, practicing their spells
and skills on the crowd, didn't make
matters better. Guts, brains and
blood spread over the square where
once a harmless life or death ball
game was going. Members of both teams
died during the ballgame.
Jumping in small roofed houses tends
to create headaches. Jake proved
this by jumping in various house
all over Temuair. He noticed that
in the one with low roofs he got
headaches earlier then the one with
high roofs. "Except one Loures
castle, when I jumped there. I felt
a splitting pain on my skull and
went unconsious", found himself
later head down in the moat. Still
it was a lucky day, as he had proven
his theory, that low roofed houses
make poor jumping quarters.
TEMUAIR — Water has
been spotted burning in various ponds
and streams. People are advised not
to drink the water or be prepared
to become a living srad-peeing problem
child. Loures asks people to be patient
while the king ponders of a plan.
(it is nappy time and he did find
by Jacob the healer
'Red give me a Red! I need a red
bad, help!' These are words spoken
by little mostly rogues from early
insight. These little heathens run
around claiming that a red is to
be given in their hand. In their
hand... like we have nothing else
to do.. It is a conspiracy, I say!
The wish to control the entire red
potion market... Little cute looking
rogue boys in their little cute looking
dwarven suits... Their lederhosen,
it must be a conspiracy from the
mountainmen! They wish to crash the
economy by buying up all the reds!
Someone call the guard, Ranger, the
cavalry... no wait skip the last
one they are either too late or drowned
in the marshlands.. or they drown
on purpose.. a conspiracy on their
part! everywhere, they are the traitors
By old Brian.
Well slap me silly and call me Sally.
There they are again, those little
drips falling down the ceiling. We
really should be fixing the roof
and I am not going up there. You
got up there, your life is cheap
and expendable. You just go to sgrios,
smile at his cracked head and he
lets you go with a scratch on your
ass. *gurgle* Then you run to Glioca
temple and yell: "!Please remove
my scar" till some retarded
Glioca priestess does it. They do
anything to get the word thank you,
anything. A young man like you can
have a mighty good time having those.
*coughs* But the roof it is still
leaking so get your ass up there
and fix it. I remember in my young
years climbing on roofs and peeking
at the ladies in the orchard. *sniff*
Hehehe, yup the good ol' days when
life was slow and the women easy.
Now life is easy and the women slow,
like making love takes longer then
4 minutes. they became too demanding
they are for my taste. The old days...
|| Top Story
Man beaten by little girl:
— A man has been beaten up by a four-year-old
in the Mileth Square. Guard stood
by amazed seeing the little four
year old beat the crap out of the
dark-masked aisling. She kept slammed
the tiny branch on his head until
he died a slow, horribly painfull
death. We spoke with some people:
Harry: 'Well it was quite fun to
watch. I know I am a guard but still,
I am a mundane guard and that means
I am here to protect mundanes. I
really enjoyed when he cried when
she rammed that little stick into
the area of reproduction. I believe
he will only be able to get daughters
from now on, he.
Unknown aisling: 'What? this is normal
man gets nekkid and stand before
the altar while peasant beat the
crap out of him. It is a sport, a
ritual of valour... I got beaten
by a little boy yesterday and loved
by Dirk the Shadow
Ah, there is not a more neglected
weapon than the dirk. Still people
should know of its long history of
bravery. Better then a stick and
an eppé it swings with might
and is easily concealed. I mean try
slaying your enemy in a public bar
with a kindjal. I mean I sees you
coming and you swing killing 5 or
6 innocent bystanders. Nah use a
dirk and stab him in the back, poison
the blade for better effect. Yup,
the dirk is the weapon of choice
for me. Well if you are a rogue you
got a whole range of those weapons.
like snow, blossom and curved daggers.
A bit longer but much more effective.
I mean who hasn't killed his father
or mother with a dirk or dagger?
I know I certainly have. So you should
glorify the dirk for its use of getting
rid of pests like bad in-laws. Nobody
hates it more then me when my mother-in-law
comes to stay. So she complains and
I go like *slit* and voila no mother-in-law,
and if my wife complains she is next,
and if the kids do then they are
next. Yes my family loves me, they
really do, I give my wife flowers
everyday. I can always find her..
hmm I mean who can't find their local
.. mundanes are weird.
'Beer is a better drink then ale.
Why you ask from
beer you can drink more and why are
you drinking? No not for the taste
or fun but for the ability to pee
in large quantities. What do you
say, drink water...? You heretic!
people have been branded, raped and
burned for less. No you have to drink
and then pee, it is more fun that
way. Stand on the bridge and pee
over the ledge into the water...
What? People drink from those waters?
I do not care, go away, they should
drink beer anyway, those heretics.
Lieutenant: 'Using cows as
horses makes a poor quality cavalry
The are too slow
and also they make too much noise.
Still they do give free milk and
a good time of sexua.. pleas.. *coughs*
nice weather huh?'
A Loures lord: Spanking yourself
or others, is good for the blooflow
has concluded this. Only those counts
for attractive young women. Children
can still be best either locked in
wells or launched by catapult or
Ballistae as punishment.
Soldier: 'Murder is a crime...
but when you slain
some moron from Undine, it is duty.
Crap with all that "I feel guilty
for slaying Undine" townscum.
We were till our waist in blood and
sadly it was only a village else
we would've gone as deep as needing
to build rafts, to flow the red river.
Those knights in that sobby letter-quest
are merely trying to impress their
wifes, while they are out in the
far west, drunk and surrounded by
hookers. Life is good back west we
worship pagean gods and sacrifice
unborn children... What are you talking
about? Chadul is merely trying to
save the world from those dreaded
'I bought a boquet of flowers
It cost me
a lot of coins but she was happy,
still I am only six years old
and already peasants are making
advances on me. They looks dorky
and wear all the same clothes,
an ugly green shirt with disgusting
black pants. Still, mommy was
happy, and dorks will be dorks,
Woman: 'Does this milk
look stale to....
no that isn't
it. I wanted to talk about this
love letter from my husband
George. He says he loves me
and... can't come back cause
of Undine matt.. What, Henry?
No he died in combat.. No John
died in the last war... he died
too... yes and he... What you
call me a bigamist? I married
not all of them at once, there
was a space of a tleast a month
between each of them. Oh, bigamy
is being married to them all
at once? I didn't know that,
it doesn't matter anyway they
are all dead. *Sighs* I seem
to have that effect on men.
Anyway: Attractive young widow
offers herself to handsome galant
knight in marriage. Please send
portrait and financial status
review, signed with a professional
Bank's seal of wealth.
Old hag: 'He loverboys
sum good ol' time? I can make
you feel real good, teehehe.
I just luv you aisling boys
with your chubby tummies and
tight little behinds. I might
be old and rinkly but I got
experience. So I love a mail.
*Old geezers home room 56*